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Is premarital counseling required?
I offer premarital education to the couples whose marriages I perform.
Premarital education is not required, but 2-4 sessions are recommended in
order to help couples have realistic expectations and shared goals. The State
of Oklahoma encourages couples to participate in premarital education by
reducing marriage license fees from $50 to $5 for those couples who have
completed at least one session of premarital education. My fee per session of
premarital education is $50, so the first session nearly pays for itself.
What do you teach in premarital education
that we don't already know?
Having a happy, lifelong marriage requires skills that we aren't taught in
school. By taking all four sessions, you will learn:
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Four ways to avoid the greatest sources of marital arguments
and divorce.
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A proven technique for resolving conflicts so each partner is
heard with respect.
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The brain-wiring differences between men and women, and how
each gender can use its strengths and overcome its weaknesses in
relationships.
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How unselfish mature love acts toward the beloved.
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How to keep the fun and romance in your marriage.
Upon completion of
at least one session, you receive a Certificate for a $45 discount on the
Oklahoma marriage license.
How do I get a marriage license? Do I need a
blood test? Is there a waiting period?
Every jurisdiction has specific rules about how you apply for a marriage
license and what requirements must be met. In Tulsa County, you apply for a
marriage license at the County Courthouse, 500 S. Denver, second floor in the
area marked "License." The License costs $50 without premarital
education and $5 if you have a Certificate stating that you have completed
premarital education (see above). No blood test is required, and there is no
waiting period once you have the license. A useful resource for information
on other locations can be found at: http://www.weddingvendors.com/marriage-license-laws/united-states/.
I am happy to assist you in figuring out what paperwork needs to be
completed.
Can we meet with you prior to the wedding?
I encourage you to do so and there is no charge for this initial interview. I
like to get to know people before performing their ceremonies. I do not
require that you meet with me, but it is much easier to personalize the
ceremony when we plan together. If you live some distance away and are unable
to meet with me in person until just prior to the ceremony, we can use the
phone, fax, e-mail and U.S. mail to design the ceremony.
Should we have a rehearsal?
Although it is not required, I generally recommend a rehearsal if there are
more than 4 people involved in the ceremony (wedding couple plus two
witnesses). A rehearsal takes pressure off of the couple so that they can
enjoy their wedding day without worrying whether everyone knows what they are
supposed to do. I am happy to participate in the rehearsal and will lend
assistance, answer questions and help the wedding party and family members
understand their roles. The fee for a one-hour rehearsal is included in the
wedding price. I typically charge more for longer rehearsals. See Fee Services below.
Can we write our own vows? Can you help us?
Many couples today don't want a "generic" ceremony, one that looks
and sounds like everyone else's. Based on what we discuss, your ceremony will
be uniquely yours--completely personalized and customized. And if you wish, I
will include some of the high points of your own romantic "love
story." I can even suggest special rituals such as ceremonial food,
music, poetry, readings, and flower ceremonies, and I have an extensive
lending library of wedding vows, readings, etiquette, inter-faith and
multi-cultural ceremonies.
Besides actually marrying us, what other
services can you provide?
I can provide a variety of services to help you make your wedding special.
This is just a sampling of some of the services I offer.
Complementary services:
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Initial meeting, telephone and email conferences at no charge
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Tailoring the ceremony specifically to your background,
family, culture and traditions
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Including the names of loved ones in the ceremony
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Honoring parents, grandparents and children with a role in the
ceremony
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Recommending special ceremonial touches, from the familiar to
the extraordinary: unity candles, flower ceremonies, sand pouring, candle
dripping, handfasting, doves, butterflies, fireworks and more
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Use of my extensive lending library of vows, ethnic and
cultural traditions and etiquette
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Special, unique and personalized recommendations for your
altar arrangement, incorporating your special memories and wishes for the
future
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Complementary use of my special selection of equipment like
hurricane globes, unity candelabra, candle lighters and snuffers, white silk
bouquets, white, gold or silver crosses, pedestals and altar tables
Fee services:
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Premarital
education
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$50 per session
(2-4 sessions recommended)
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Wedding ceremony
and one-hour rehearsal
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$350. Rates
increase for more complex weddings, as agreed in writing
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Second hour of
rehearsal and additional hours
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$50/hr, up to a maximum
of $100
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Basic vow
renewals, home blessings, Christenings
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$100 each and up,
depending on complexity, as agreed in writing
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The expense for travel outside Tulsa County
is typically covered by the client, so please contact me to discuss your desired
location.
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Rev. Mildred Banks
(918) 269-0010
Rev.Mildred@GreenCountryCeremonies.com
Rev. Mildred finds
unique ways of incorporating children in your ceremony.
"I have never been to a more beautiful wedding . . . the
service was so dear, so full of love and happiness."
--SL
Rev. Mildred and another
happy couple.
"Our wedding
would never have been so personal, so right for us without your able
assistance."
--EO
"We are so glad
you
officiated at our wedding.
It was perfect."
--VD
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